Are you tired of saying the same things over and over to maintain discipline.
Here's what you have to do:
- Post this Demerit System on the bulletin board at the beginning of the season.
- Appoint your spunkiest Alto to keep score.
- Concentrate on the music.
CHORAL DEMERIT SYSTEM U.S. COUNCIL on the ARTS
FEDERAL MUSICARE PROGRAM (a)
CHORAL DEMERIT SYSTEM 3.2(b)
No.
INFRACTION
PENALTY (c)
Rehearsal Concert
1
Arriving late
1
2
2
Missing rehearsal w/o notifying director or section leader
2
na
3
Missing a dress rehearsal
10
na
4
Singing on a rest or missing a cut-off
1
3
5
Face in music
2
5
6
Face in music while singing out-of-tune
0
0
7
Cell phone ring
4
9
8
Cell phone musical ring-tone in the wrong key
5
10
9
Taking the call
10
20 to Life
10
Wearing off-white at a concert rather than bright white
na
5
11
Failure to blend in (voice or wardrobe)
1
3
12
Perfume/Cologne
1
3
13
Other odor deemed fetid or stultifying
5
8
14
Evil eye from conductor for any reason whatsoever
2
4
15
Soprano only: Excessive vibrato
1 per warble
2 per warble
16
Soprano only: Shattering a window
2
4
17
Alto only: Smirking when conductor corrects sopranos
1
na
18
Alto (usually): Sassing the conductor
2
9
19
Tenor only: Singing with the ladies to show off
1
2
20
Tenor only: Excessively good-looking
1
-1
21
Bass or Alto: Beating up the above-mentioned Tenor
2
5
22
Bass (usually): Lagging in tempo
1 (d)
3 (d)
23
Coming to the rescue
2
4
24
Pronouncing “America” or “Gloria” like Reba McIntyre
2
4
25
Pronouncing “Alleluia” like someone from Central NY
2
4
26
Wrong color binder or none at all
na
5
27
Talking while another section is singing
1
5
28
Singing while looking at the wrong page of the score
1
2
29
Singing while holding the score upside-down
5
8
30
No music
2
3
31
No pencil
1
na
32
Chewing gum or tobacco
1
2
33
Sitting in the back when there are vacant rows in front
1
na
34
Scratching fleas other than your own
5
7
35(e)
36(e)
37(e)
(a) Yet another government takeover.
(b) A chorister accumulating 10 points will not be allowed to sing in the next concert.
(c) 2 points can be absolved by providing snacks for everyone at one rehearsal.
(d) +1 bonus point for each measure remaining when everyone else has finished.
(e) This space intentionally left blank. It’s a government tradition, you know.
