Robinson Caruso is about a man who goes to the beach and likes it so
much that he stays for a long time -- kinda like Baywatch but without
the babes. One day he found a footprint on the beach that had been
there since Friday. He grew a beard and wore a stupid hat. I liked
this book but I woulda liked it better if there were babes.
FEBUARY was I shorter month, so I read a shorter book: THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA
by Ernest Herringbone
This is a stupid book about a man who goes fishing but he has hardly
any fun at all cuz the fish he tries to catch is smarter than he is,
which isn't saying much. My Dad says the fish is supposed to be the
hopes and dreams of mankind but that sounds pretty stupid too.
MARCH was a long month so I read WAR AND PEACE
by Leonard Nimoy
War and Peace is a very long book and I read the whole thing. It's
about Russia.
My APRIL book report is on MOBY DICK
by Melvin Hermville
(which is much longer than it needs to be)
Boy meets whale. Boy loses whale. Whale gets boy.
MAY THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS
by James Feminine Cooper
who must have been named after his mother
I could hardly wait to write this report.
Amid various tribal conflicts, a small party perambulated the forest
toward Fort William Henry. Led by Hawkeye, the consummate frontiersman,
the protagonists threaded their way through the thick morning mist.
Magua, a displaced Huron indian, absconded with two girls, Cora and
Alice. Uncas, the last of his breed, admired Cora's depth of soul and
hoped ardently for her rescue. But one of the Huron braves sheathed
his knife in Cora's bosom. Uncas lept between the infuriated Magua and
his compatriate and became his victim. The patriach Tamenund lifted
his voice to bewail the tragic demise of "the last warrior of the wise
race of the Mohicans". I liked this story alot.
JUNE, JULY & AUGUST
Jeekers, who reads books during summer vacation?
SEPTEMBER LORD OF THE DANCE OF THE FLIES
by William Flatley
I didn't need to read this book because we talked about it in class and I saw the stage version on TV. It's about a two gangs of Irish kids who stomp around an island looking for meat and fighting with each other. I suppose they had to do the show with kids instead of real flies because the flies probably had a little trouble keeping in step to the music.
OCTOBER
HEART OF DARKNESS
by Joseph Comrade
This the story of a man who took a boat up a jungle river looking for a fat druggy named Marlin Branflakes who has an ego bigger than Africa. I didn't like this book at all. At the end, the fat guy said it was horrible and he was right.
NOVEMBER
LITTLE WOMEN
by Sandra Day Alcott
I started to read this book because I thought it was gonna be a science fiction story. Then I found out it was about four regular girls. You didn't really expect me to keep reading a book about girls, did you? Yuck.