10 COSMIC QUESTIONS
(and one easy one)

• Is there a giant closet in the universe where all the lost Bic pens go?
  Will somebody find it some day and open the door and get squashed in the avalanche?
  Will he get killed or just all black and blue?
  
  
• If time slows down as you approach the speed of light, how long would it take the cop to write out the speeding ticket?
  
  
• How long would you be stuck in your car on the Long Island Expressway if a foot of snow fell all at once with a horrendous thud?
  Would you be there long enough to miss the Apocalyse?
  
  
• Why do men have nipples?
  
  
• When I mow the lawn, are there thousands of tiny screams that get drowned out by the sound of the mower?
  
  
• Since cats always land on their feet, and toast always lands butter side down, what would happen if you duct-tape the toast to the cat's back and you climb to the top of the Tower of Pisa like Galileo and ... ?
  
  
• When Jesus Christ was a carpenter and he hit his thumb with a hammer, would he yell his own name?
  
  
• Does the Bhuddha ever have to pee?
  
  
• What would happen on New Year's Eve if everyone in New York City (except the stupid drunks in Time Square, of course) were to flush their toilets when the ball drops to the bottom?
  Would the sewers back up and flood the city?
  Would the drunks care?
  
  
• If wishes were horses, can you imagine what lust would be?
  
  
• AN·EASY·QUESTION:
  If you transplanted a monkey's brain into a man, how long would it be before he fell out of a tree?
  
  
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